WE FINALLY DEFEAT SOFLO


*Some dope song plays* Today, we have the FIRST… H3 video game! We’ve had a lot of concept art we’ve had a lot of uh… half games so far but this is the first fully completed H3 game And who better, to be the nemesis… …than SoFloAntonio.. The “big boy”, the “chess player,” okay? I’ve been playing
checkers for years… and he’s been studying chess [SoFlo] Let’s play chess And he doesn’t lie Ethan] He doesn’t lie, he’s
never lied [Hila] This is…literally him This is literally him not lying [SoFlow] I won’t
lie [SoFlow in sped-down effect] this is definitely me when… What do you suppose is his chess rating? Do you think he’s a grandmaster chess
player? Well that’s what he says and he doesn’t lie [Ethan] He doesn’t lie
[Hila ]So I take his word [Ethan speaking as SoFlo] “I won’t lie, this is definitely me when I’m a villain in an H3H3 game.” (bowel-shaking bass synth) So that being said guys we’ve got a H3H3 Productions vs. SoFlow
Antonio Um, I’m really excited I played it once, it
was very hard, I lost and I was very upset I felt like I’ve been playing checkers–
[Hila] You played yourself I played myself, I played checkers, but not
today! Today, SloFLo goes down Ok let’s do it, you’re up first Hila [Hila]: Ok
[Ethan]: Please… and do not fuck this up, I mean you’re representing me! [Hila]: I didn’t even start!
[Ethan]: You’re representing me, dude [Hila]: Your nose, you kinda look like, I don’t know. [Ethan]: A black guy? [Craig Robinson]: WHAT?!
[Hila]: No [Ethan]: What. [Hila]: I didn’t think about a black guy
[Ethan]: Well SoFlo is lookin’ straight goobus over here [Hila]: You know who you’re reminding me here?
[Ethan]: Hm? The guy from Crazy Stupid Pranks Charlie Sun My name’s Charlie Son Crazy Stupid Pranks: The Original Well I mean.. Shoot! Charlie is one of my
favorite memes of all time.. Can you- can you look up Charlie son right now?
Let’s check out “crazy prank wow!” “Son… crazy… prank, wow!” Exclamation mark. I can’t… I can’t find Charlie Son! Found some malware?? What the fuck is going on?! This is a very confusing time for me..
Okay… Charlie Son- just the THOUGHT of looking for Charlie Son apparently installed a [Ethan Klein Stutter™] VIRUS on our computer Okay, so this is all for the comparison
[Hila] Yeah, you see him? [Ethan] So you think I look like Charlie Son? [Ethan]: I guess?? I mean, have you ever kissed an Asian, Hila?
[Hila] No..? [Ethan] Do you want to start now? [Hila] Why? [Ethan] Have you ever- have you ever tasted Chinese food? [Charlie Son] Are you ready for some Chinese food? [Ethan] You
want to get naked? [Charlie Son] I mean this kind of Naked… if yA KNOW WHAT I MEAN! I mean the resemblance is there. I prefer
to look like a black guy I think I turned black probably 11 years
ago… One year of listening to hip-hop.. *tsk* I’m a black guy ..But if you want to say that I’m CrazyPrankWow! okay… then I mean sure, Hila. [Ethan] …What?
[Hila] It sounds bad! It IS bad! I’m SICK, by the way! Okay. Play. Okay… so… move up and down with arrow keys. Aim and shoot with the mouse. Bob is your uncle~.. Ah! Okay Hila… DAMN I’ve got like straight gray hair! [Hila] Heeey you do!
[Ethan] Hey what the fuck man? Okay so you’re
shooting goofs and gaffs… Sooo…. Soflo has got kind of a… I mean, Soflo has got kind of like a Jew claw going on. I dunno if I should say that but… PFFFF those hands are.. It’s kind of like a Borat-esque Jew hand… Jew claw What is even a Jew claw? [Hila Mumbles] Oh God! You’re fucking him up! Oh, you only have one heart left… OH- OH GOD- You know what, Hila? I thought better– I thought better of you, frankly, and at this point. It takes me a while to… understand the game Okay. And I’m usually like, slow, but then I get it. Okay, right. Just like chess. So what’s the Jew claw? [Borat] He said the Jew come with a claw- *swipe* [Officer] You knock away. The Jew claw is like a Borat joke where like, the Jews have a horn and a claw. [Borat] The Jew come with a claw! He’s shooting Ethan Bradberries at you! He looks like a Bradberry! [Inaudible] WHOOOHOOOO (bowel-shaking bass synth) [Ethan]: Okay here I go.
[Hila]: Okay You think I look like Charlie Son, huh? Well the DRAWING not YOU! You gonna stand by that? You gonna stand by that, dude? (higher pitch bowel-shaking sound) Have you had Chinese food or not? I don’t understand what you’re trynna say. I think also the Soflo drawing looks like JoeySalads kinda.. [JoeySalads] What’s up guys I’m JoeySalads and this is Emily- with her boob comin out [Distorted JoeySalads] boob comin out JoeySalads?? There is no resemblance
between JoeySalad and that Soflo I don’t know I don’t know, Hila. Okay, this is fucking SERIOUS now like, I gotta juke his hand out, like you STAY- OH FUCK- you see at the bottom? Right? So you’ve got a ton of space to- GET THE FUCK OUT Oh God I got his shit numbered, dude. [Hila]: Okay [Ethan] Oh my God you just got Soflooooo’d! These Ber- these Ethan Ber- Bradberries are
really hard to juke OHHH! It’s so hard! Yeah [Ethan] Oh, there are chess pieces! … That’s cute. (bowel-shaking sound) [Hila] Ow…!
[Ethan] He got me in the toe, dude He chess piece’d me in the toe!! You’ve been chess’d. [Ethan] So I get one play, and you get four? Is that how this goes?
[Hila] Yeah. [Ethan] And I look like Charlie Son, right? Okay, good, good.
[Hila] No…! Thanks for the confidence boost, Hila. I really needed that. DAMN you just got Bradberrieeeed! (distorted sound) Alright, go. You get to play 10 times to my 1 time. Make like really.. like your “trying really hard” face. You’re focusing really hard, Hila. Just get- yeah, YEAH DUDE get in there, dude. Furl your brows. Somethin like this Yeah there you go! Get in there, Hila! [Hila] But I’m trying to focus!
[Ethan] This is about the montage! This isn’t about actually trying to kill Soflo. No, I’m trying to really kill him! [Hila] Oh no!
[Ethan] Yeah, you just ate that chess piece. Okay, do one with the… dramatic face. Okay, stage one? [distorted] *Jew Claws.* The Jew Claws stage is veeery easy. I recommend staying in the corner Provoke the jew claw and then you… okay cool… Hila’s taking a hit here! One heart down. [Ethan] Okay! [E&H] Bradberry Stage! [Bradberry Overload] [Ethan] Hila’s on stage 2!
[Hila] Bradberries? Soflo’s taking some HARD goofin gaffs. [Soflo] “Let’s play chess” Okay! The *chess stage* HIla! This is the final stage! Now, chess, I’ve been playing for years. Oh shoot.. I dunno… it doesn’t look like it! [Hila] Ohhh noooo!! [prepare for loud explosion] (low pitch earcancer) Ethan breathing deeply We tried so hard, dude. We tried so hard, man, to play chess against the Grand Master. But nothing even matters… (overlapping slow-mo audio of Charlie laughing and SoFlo) [Ethan] You know what
[Distorted] SoFlo? You fucked with my lady. Bradberried my wife. Okay? It’s time. To throw down. The ULTIMATE GAME. *clap* I’M SICK OF PLAYIN AROUND, DUDE. Let’s fuck
this guy up! (Ethan’s Violent Cough™) [Hila] GROSS! Oh my GOD I’m gonna faint Okay, this is for real. It’s time to defeat him once and for all. … There’s a Bradberry on his face! Who got Bradberried now? [Hila] Oh, there’s 2?! [Ethan] WAIT! Wait! Wait! [Hila] What happened?! [Ethan] What did I do to DESERVE THIS!?! [Hila] What?! [Ethan] What did I do to deserve this 2 Soflos and 1 Bradberry and 1 Jew claw stage?!? [Hila] Why do you get 2?? [Ethan] What did I do?! I didn’t even beat 1!! [Ethan] This isn’t right. [Ethan] Watch me take out 2, dude. I don’t give a FUCK, man. Bradberry + Jew claws=ultimate demise Okay, 2 Bradberry stages. Ohhh, I’m gonna kill them BOTH, Hila! [Hila] Ethan Bradberry stopped saying “I’m Ethan Bradberry!” [Ethan] Did he really? [Ethan Bradberry] Thiss Ethan! [Hila] He just says, “I’m Ethan!” [Ethan] “I’m Ethan?” Come on~~. But that’s what I was saying. You gotta embrace the Bradberry meme! [Ethan Bradberry] I’m Ethan Bradberry! [Ethan] Oh God, oh God, oh God… I’ve got one Bradberry, one chess! *slams desk* That was not right! [Hila] You played yourself. [Ethan] Let’s see how many fucking Soflos we get this time. Okay, just one. OhhhHOOOHOOO! He took the Jew claws out! He could have hit me! That was insane! Okay, it’s Bradberry time. Let’s do this. Fuck! I ate that Bradberry right in the fucking face, man! This is intense, man. I thought we were going to defeat it easier than this. [Hila] You’re getting Bradberried. [Ethan] You know what? I’m Charlie Son, I’m getting Bradberried, I’d appreciate a little respect. That’s all I’m saying, okay? That’s all I ask for. Don’t embarrass me in front of our fans, please. [Hila] How did you get 2? I still don’t understand. You passed the level? [Ethan] Hila, can you not see I’m in the downvote stage?? [Slowed down] downvote stage??? [Inaudible] Facebook downvote stage… the myth- *gets killed* Ohh!! [Ethan] That was close, dude. [Ouch] [Hila Mumble™] [Ethan] Okay, Hila gets her 20th turn… [Hila] Oh wait… Let me- let me do another… [Ethan] Ohhhh new meme~! New meme generated! [Ethan] That’s what we need to play. [Ethan] Hila, you need to say something to the camera about new memes. [Hlia] Alright. Time to get real. [Ethan] Huha, Hila’s got new meme- Hila is reppin’ the Nation here… …and I feel like we cannot lose once you rep the Nation. [Ethan] Ouch! [Bowel-shaking bass synth playing] [Ethan] THAT is embarrassing. THAT is humiliating, but I THINK we can take this one step further…. …Wait here. I’m going into our box of memes…
to bring forth the greatest relic ever known…. [loud shuffling through box of memes] [Ethan] Sorry…. OKAY! It is time… To bring up my alter ego… It’s time to transform… [Vape Ethan] Oh my God, look at that vape juice. It’s gone straight brown! Is that still good? Fuck yeah, it’s still good to vape! [Funky music and loud coughing in background] [Ethan] Guys… we’ve come to a point in time… We’ve pushed ourselves to the very limits to defeat SoFloAntonio… The Jew claws, the Bradberries, the chess pieces… And finally… the facebook dislikes… We have done everything in our power to beat Soflo… And now, I’ve summoned.. the greatest relics… H3 has EVER Okay? I am doing everything in my power to bring down Soflo once and for all… Hila, can I get you on my team? [SMACK] Can I get you?? [Hila] *whispers* Yes! [Ethan] Can we do this together??- Well… you failed so… you can’t really help me, but you can watch me. [Ethan] Okay, let’s fucking do this once and for all, dude. [Ethan] Shit, that Jew claw is fucking fast, man… (sharp breath) (Sharp Breath 2: Electric Boogaloo) (slurp-like sharp breath) [Ethan] Ooh… [Ethan] Come on… (Jew claw explodes) [Ethan] Get fuckin’ owned. (other Jew claw explodes) [Ethan] Okay.. PERFECT Jew claw round. I didn’t take ONE fuckin hit. The Bradberries are missin me LEFT AND RIGHT, people! [Hila] Uh oh!! [Ethan] How can I skip it? I can’t even get rid of the Bradberries! [Ethan] Mkay… How am I doin Hila? Chess time! [Ethan] I’m trying to aim at him while I’m dodging- it’s really tough! Ohhhh, he’s in trouble, dude. He KNOWS he’s in trouble! [Hila] Downvotes! [Ethan] Holy fuck, Hila. Dude, I am in a trance right now. [Ethan] What did he say? [together] “Not gonna lie, this is DEFINITELY me when I’m dying.” (clapping) [Hila] Wooo! [Ethan] YIIIIS!! [Ethan] I had ONE heart, dude. ONE heart. (REPRESENT VAPE NAYSH) [Ethan] Vape naysh guys [Ethan] Oohoo, there’s a little extra!
[Hila] DJ Khaled? [Ethan] Oh, he looks so good. Please tell me he’s working on a DJ Khaled-… (good ol’ H3H3 theme starts) [Hila] Press (SPACE) to continue! *press* [Ethan] “Who are you?” [Ethan] Haha! “I’m Ethan, from H3H3 productions!” H3h3h3… [Ethan] “That SoFlo kid has been in my way for a while now, he took my spotlight…” “Good job killing him, Ethan! I appreciate you!” DAMN that’s not even a game, I just straight up murdered him. Thanks, DJ Khaled. [Ethan] Hila!
[Hila] That’s me! [Ethan] Lookin’ good, dude! [Ethan] “Hila, where have you been?” [Hila] Right here. [Ethan] “I was filming the whole thing.” [Ethan] “Oh right, thanks, dude.” [Ethan] “Well you two should come meet me some time,
because I appreciate both of you.” [Ethan] If only that was real [Hila] Yea if only he answered… Lookin’ at you fuckin… [Hila] Hot ’97 radio- [Ethan] Hot ’97 called us, they said… we won, that we were gonna come out, and now all of a sudden, what? You’re out to lunch? What? You forgot about the contest we won? [Hila] Whateva [Ethan] “They never said winning was easy…” “some people can’t handle it, but you can. Remember… “You smart, you loyal. I’ll see ya later.” [Ethan] “WHOA d00d! I just destroyed SoFlo AND I met Homogenous Khalidius!” [Ethan] “Plus, it’ll make for an awesome video! What do ya say? Let’s call it a day and go home.” [Ethan and Hila] Yeah, d00d. [Ethan] That was a lot of fun! I had a- that was a fun adventure. [Hila] Yeah. [Ethan] That was cool, man. So.. Big ups to ‘Jejkobb,’ who MADE this dang thing. Check him out, he’s got basically a subreddit. I don’t know, check that out. And I- and I look forward to more H3 games! That was a lot of fun. Even something simple like this- just so much fun to play. The ending was really cute [Ethan] It was cute! It was a cute ending… Do you really fucking think I look like Charlie Son? [Hila] NOOOOO! [Ethan] After everything we’ve been through together, Hila? I mean seriously, dude. [Hila] Okaay [Ethan] I’d like to say see you guys later, but… *sigh* what can we do? [Hila] Can I at least keep this? [Ethan] Do whatever you want, dude. Why don’t you just go get a naked and kiss of your- your first asian? See ya, dude. [Hila] See ya… (ow frick my ears)

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