The Daily Show – Chess News Roundup

The Daily Show – Chess News Roundup


THIS WEEK IN CHESS
AMERICA IS MAKING A CONCERTED EFFORT TO BUY TOP FOREIGN CHESS
PLAYERS IN AN ATTEMPT TO WIN NEXT YEAR’S CHESS OLYMPIAD GOLD
MEDAL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN DECADES. THAT’S RIGHT, THE UNITED STATES
IS BUYING UP NERDS, NERD MERCENARIES, “NERDCENARIES.” FOR MORE WE WELCOME BACK OUR
SENIOR INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENT MR. TREVOR NOAH. TREVOR! A PLEASURE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>THANK YOU.>>Jon: VERY DELIGHTED TO
HAVE YOU HERE.>>THANK YOU VERY MUCH. JON. IT’S AN ABSOLUTE PLEASURE TO BE
BACK HERE TO TALK ABOUT CHESS. THE GAME OF KINGS, SMART
CHECKERS ( SNORING )
BLACK AND WHITE HORSEY SQUARES. THE HISTORY OF CHESS STRETCHES
BACK CENTURIES — OH, COME ON, JON, JON!>>Jon: WHAT, IS THAT, WHAT —
I’M SORRY.>>COME ON.>>Jon: I’M SORRY, I JUST, WOW,
I’M SORRY, I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW BORING CHESS WAS UNTIL SOMEONE
ELSE STARTED TALKING ABOUT IT. ALL RIGHT.>>I MEAN, LOOK, IF AMERICANS
ARE SO BORED BY CHESS THEN WHY ARE YOU STEALING EVERYONE
ELSE’S PLAYERS? >>Jon: WE WOULD LIKE TO
WIN. WE WOULD LIKE TO WIN. I MEAN, LET’S FACE FACTS. WE COULD PATIENTLY BUILD A
HOME-GROWN CHESS TEAM THROUGH YEARS OF HARD WORK, BUT YEARS OF
HARD WORK. WE’D RATHER JUST BUY THEM.>>YOU KNOW WHAT, JON, DOES
AMERICA REALLY NEED TO BE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING? I MEAN, YOU ALREADY DOMINATE
WORLD IN ECONOMICS, MILITARY POWER, OBESITY. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Jon: WELL, YOU’RE VERY KIND. WE HAVE THE MOST DAKOTAS.>>YOU’VE GOT SO MANY DAKOTAS!
>>Jon: YES.>>YOU’VE GOT WHAT IS IT? NORTH,
SOUTH –>>Jon: NORTH SOUTH —
>>FANNING, JOHNSON.>>Jon: YES.>>LEAVE SOME DAKOTAS FOR THE
REST OF US!>>Jon: IT IS NOT LIKE
AMERICA HAS NOT HAD CHESS GREATS OF ITS OWN. YOU HAD, UH, WHAT WAS THAT
MOVIE. BOBBY FISCHER.>>YEAH, BUT THAT WAS WHAT, 40
YEARS AGO?>>Jon: NO, I JUST RENTED
IT. IT WAS– AND DEEP BLUE, THE IBM
CHESS COMPUTER.>>I’M PRETTY SURE THE PARTS
CAME FROM CHINA.>>ALL RIGHT, TREV, WHAT IF WE
DON’T BUY PLAYERS? WHAT IF WE DON’T BUY THEM?
IT’S JUST FREE MARKET. THIS IS HOW IT WORKS.>>NO, JON, IT’S NOT, THIS IS A
SPORT. KIND OF. RIGHT, THIS NOT MEANT TO BE AN
ECONOMIC TRANSACTION LIKE BUYING A LOAF OF BREAD OR A SEAT IN
CONGRESS.>>Jon: THAT HURTS.>>AMERICA IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL
ABOUT EARNING VICTORY. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT MOVIE WHERE
A GUY FROM PHILADELPHIA PUNCHED A RUSSIAN SO HARD IT ENDED
THE COLD WAR? WHAT IF INSTEAD OF TRAINING
ROCKY TO FIGHT IVAN DRAGO, AMERICA JUST HIRED IVAN
DRAGO. IT’S A WAY WORSE MOVIE.>>Jon: THAT WOULD BE A
TOTALLY AWESOME MOVIE. FISH OUT OF WATER, COMMUNIST IN
A CAPITALIST COUNTRY BUT LEARNS TO LOVE AMERICA AND TEACHES HIS
LANDLORD HOW TO LOVE BORSCHT. LIKE, THAT’S SUCH A GOOD MOVIE.>>IT WOULD BE A GOOD MOVIE.
>>Jon: THANK YOU.>>GET THE CAB. COME ON.>>Jon: THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING
ABOUT.>>IT WOULD BE, OKAY.>>I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO THE
EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. NICE!>>AH, I LOVE IT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, JON? I DON’T EVEN THINK THAT THIS IS
ABOUT CHESS. THIS IS ABOUT RUSSIA BECAUSE
WHAT’S THE ONLY THING RUSSIANS LOVE MORE THAN FILMING THEIR OWN
CAR ACCIDENTS? ( LAUGHTER )
>>Jon: LAND GRABS, I GUESS?>>NO, JON, NO, CHESS. THEY HAVE MORE WORLD CHAMPIONS
THAN ANY OTHER COUNTRY.>>Jon: WHO IS THEIR
CURRENT CHAMPION?>>WELL, OFFICIALLY, PUTIN. I MEAN, COME ON! WE ALL REMEMBER THAT FAMOUS
PHOTO!>>Jon: OH! YOU KNOW WHAT’S WEIRD? I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS ON A
REAL HORSE. YOU DON’T LOOK BECAUSE YOU JUST
SEE THE NIPPLES. YOU DON’T REALIZE.>>THAT’S TRUE. BUT HERE’S MY POINT, AMERICA HAS
BEEN TRYING TO GET BACK AT RUSSIA FOR STEALING CRIMEA, YOU
KNOW, WARRING WITH THE UKRAINE, SUPPORTING ASSAD, YOU’VE TRIED
EVERYTHING — SANCTIONS, DIPLOMACY, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
SUBTWEETS. NOTHING’S WORKED.>>Jon: YES.>>SO NOW YOU’RE TRYING TO TAKE
RUSSIA’S PLACE AS THE WORLD CHESS SUPER POWER BECAUSE YOU
KNOW THAT WOULD REALLY HURT THEM WHERE IT HURTS, RIGHT IN THE
PAWNS.>>Jon: IT’S JUST THEY’RE —
THEY’RE JUST SO MEAN. I JUST HATE THEM SO MUCH.>>YEAH, BUT I UNDERSTAND, JON,
BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BEAT THEM —
>>Jon: YES!>>YOU NEED TO DO IT THE
OLD-FASHIONED WAY. YOU NEED TO EARN IT. AND YOU
KNOW WHAT? I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU AWE CHANCE
TO MAKE THIS WHOLE THING RIGHT THROUGH THE ANCIENT BATTLE OF
BLACK VERSUS WHITE.>>Jon: ENOUGH WITH THE
FERGUSON, WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT.>>NO, NO, JON, JON. I MEAN, THROUGH THE MAGIC OF
CHESS. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Jon: WOW. ALL RIGHT. I KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE
TRADITIONAL CUTTING OF THE WIRES. ( LAUGHTER )
I THOUGHT THEY’D GO AWAY. BUT THEY DON’T.>>IT’S PART OF THE MAGIC.>>Jon: OH, THERE THEY GO. ALL RIGHT, VERY NICE. ALL RIGHT.>>OKAY. ALL RIGHT, BECAUSE I’M WHITE,
I’LL GO FIRST. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )>>Jon: UH, ALL RIGHT. I GUESS BECAUSE I’M JEWISH, I’LL
GO SECOND. ( LAUGHTER )
>>PAWN TO D-4.>>Jon: OH, SNAP! MOUSETRAP. CHECKMATE. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

100 thoughts on “The Daily Show – Chess News Roundup

  1. Seriously, people, learn to set up a chessboard!

    Queen on her own color, 

    White square on right.

    The white square is on left and the K & Q are messed up. Bah.

    It's funny but annoying as hell.

    Most ppl don't know how to set up a chessboard unless they play chess seriously, it seems.

  2. Alright i watched the Ebola one before this one. and kinda thought Trevor was abit too Sarcastic and not enough energy but actually he seemed much more comfortable in this bit

  3. Did anyone else notice that the board is incorrectly set up? The king and queen are in the wrong position. 1d4 but the king is on the D file. . .

  4. What I don't understand. Regarding the people who don't believe Noah will be an exemplary successor to John Stewart. Is why (if you claim to be such a "fan" of John Stewart and the Daily Show) you seem to not have any trust in John Stewart's ability to choose absolutely hilarious comics to work there. So before you get all worked up questioning Noah's comedic skill… ask yourself. "Is there a single daily show correspondent in the past 1.5 decades that hasn't absolutely lived up to the stratospherically high bar of comedy standards that John Stewart has established at the Daily Show?" I contend that there is NOT. So how about everyone take a deep breath and stop criticizing the new host before he even has an episode under his belt? Now breath out slowly… and relax…, feel the trust that you have in Stewart's unbroken track record of picking funny comedians to join the show. Don't we all feel better now?

  5. This is one of the things that pisses me off about the U.S.  Don't get me wrong, I love chess and I may not be the biggest fanatic but I'd love to see some good U.S. plaer in the chess Olympiad. But The fact that we are spending money to hire mercenaries to play for us in meaningless competition is just ridiculous. With all the problems in the U.S. we spend money on this? Couldn't they have at least invested the money into U.S. kids like the Russia and some of the countries that are so good at Chess. Heck even if it fails (and the mercenary things will fail by the way) at least you get to expose a generation of kids to a great game which has had evidence of improving cognitive abilities.

  6. This is the funniest thing that involves chess ever! Probably the only thing that involves chess ever, but even so it's still hilarious 😂😂😂 Damn Trevor is funny.

  7. I love Trevor's stand-up, but I've never found his Daily News appearances all that funny and I worry that him being a great stand-up comedian isn't going to be enough to successfully take over the show. He doesn't have that kind of energetic, boisterous attitude that Jon has, which is something I feel the show might need…

  8. Sadly Fischer became an arrogant-premadonna and in later years An Anti-Semetic (really into Hitler, had a copy of The Protocols of the Elders Of Zion, and had lots of Nazi Propaganda), Anti-American (Post 9/11 he made Anti-American comments on Icelandic Radio stations), and a Racist (had a copy of White Man's Burden)

  9. The IBM computer is built by us nerds, which most of America looks down upon lol

    This is an age where nerds or assholes run the world, but Americans look up to the latter.

  10. This proves Davis cannot possibly be less funny than Stewart. Regardless of the truthfullness of his words, Stewart is comically unfunny.

  11. sorry Trevor but this one was kak boring BTW I'm South African before any Africans starts to through a punch.

  12. 3:00 Well, a lot of them were born in places that never really wanted to be part of the USSR. Even my tiny Baltic Latvia has a chess champion, but because we were part of that shitshow called USSR, he is technically a russian champion.

  13. i know even though they receive cues to look at certain cameras , i think noah should look at stewart more when addressing him rather than immediately turn his head towards the camera.

  14. Woah! The US is recruiting foreign mercenaries!? That sounds awfully like the sort-of thing that ISIS/ISIL/IS has been doing. I demand that the US launches drone strikes on its own Chess clubs. Any Glee club collateral damage will just have to be accepted.

  15. I wonder is there any tension on the set with the other cast members toward Trevor? I am sure they all auditioned for the spot to replace John Steward, and many of them have been on the show longer than Trevor.

  16. America has a lot of grandmasters and many who have gone down in the history books. I really doubt they need to make new homegrown grandmasters since there is already a huge community for chess there. btw I'm not from America.

  17. What Russians love more than forming their own Car accidents?

    JOINING HANDS WITH BRITAIN IN COMMITTING GENOCIDE IN BIAFRA?

  18. The U.S. did end up winning the Chess Olympiad in 2016. However only one person was "imported" that played in the U.S. team, phillippine born Wesley So. The other players on the other boards were either born here or moved here at a young age.

  19. I get that joke abnout filming car crashes now. I just watched a " worst car crashes " video and 90% were Russian dashcams…..and 5% were UK and the other 5% were Americans getting in fender benders and then taking a baseball bat to the other person's windshield.

  20. 1. the current chess world champion in Magnus Carlson
    2. America does has home grown talent such as Hikaru Nakamura, Wesley So and Fabiano Caruana

  21. As someone that enjoys a casual game of chess, I am constantly reminded that even compared to my videogame loving father, I am the nerd of the family. I'm not even that good. I'm just the only one that knows what castleling is.

  22. It's strange seeing these guys talking in March 2015. This was before the election broke out, before anyone had announced yet. In just a few months, there wouldn't be a conversation going on without some mentioning of Donald Trump. This is like the calm before the storm. A throwback to a more innocent time.

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