Uh, so they turn it on and then they start to teach your brain
how to hear again and in my case because I had sound and I lost my hearing gradually my brain’s gonna remember. So once upon a time I might have heard birds singing. Once upon a time I heard insects doing whatever insects do. I don’t know what they do, I’m hoping it’s a symphony. (noise and laughter) Once upon a time, and so my brain remembers. But that part of hasn’t been stimulated in years. And all of a sudden it’s going to be going Hmmmmmmm Just like with the little digitals, when I first got these it was like, Oh my God! What is that ungodly sound! And it was a train. And I hadn’t even realized that there was a bridge with a train. The years I’d been living in the neighborhood, that there was a bridge with a train that the train went over every single day. I didn’t even realize it until that moment. but then at night You take it off or when you get sick of it or you can’t take it anymore you take it off. And you’re deaf again. And there is a kind of bliss in the silence. It’s so profound. And you genuinely can be lost in it’s not just self-contemplation but it’s the contemplation of silence. And so I don’t have to miss that. I’m gonna keep that. I’m gonna keep that. I don’t know. Well, one would assume and I assume that I have a core of behavior that’s been untouched by the loss and will be untouched by the restoration of hearing I mean I assume that, but, God, I don’t know. What if all of a sudden I get my hearing back and I turn into a complete and utter shit? And I have been in my life a complete and utter shit so it’s very easy contemplate What i remember as a kid is a real strain of selfishness and a real strain of something mean. and I kinda hope I’ve had that wrung out of me. i kinda hope that I’m not talking about self-pity that does it. I kind of hope that because of all this and because of the way that I’ve had to go at my own ambitions aslant that I became or have become kind. I hope I’ve become kinder.