– [Dunk] Now here’s a level from one of my favorite youtubers JakeyPaul! Looking like we got a 0.9% clear rate here. So this is-
This is gonna be interesting! Ok, well… I give the graphics a 7. Pretty good graphics. Ah-
Woo! (Laughs) You thought that was gonna get me? (Laughs) Aaahh! (Gibberish) Wah! (Laughs) Nop! Hey, come on!
Come on now! Jakey, Jakey! My boy! You forget that I hold the World Record on the famous level “Bowser’s Big Bean Burrito”. This is very easy for me. A gamer of my caliber? This is almost no challenge to me, Jakey. Woo- Yeh- (Laughs) You almost tricked me there. You almost tricked me there, but the — the issue is that the level is just VERY EASY and you have to remember that I’m playing with a BLINDFOLD on, and I’m not even trying, by the way. And… This isn’t even me playing, it’s my little brother. So that’s what’s- So here’s a level from my friend Sean who plays Getting Over It for fun. He thinks this is a fun game. Ah, yeah! Definitely-
Definitely seeing some influence here. Because this level is a piece of trash! This is trash! What do you do? What do you-? Oh- Okay! Okay! Eh? Eeeeeeeh-aaahhh… Okay! Alright! Oh my god… Yah! Wah! Pah! Yes! (Laughs) Sean, my boy! You make this levels to easy, nowadays! (Laughs) Aaah… I hate you!
I hate this! Okay. Okay…
Come on… Eh… Prrr-!
God! No-ho! No-ho-ho-ho! One second, guys. I just gotta put a comment here. Alright. There we go!
Now we’re back- Stupid ass game! “Mario Builder 2.” Build my butt! Oh- I did it! I did the jump! Okay! Now it’s all down hill from here. Now you just gotta gump- Come on here, jump out… And yeh-
Yep! Just got- (Laughs) One second, guys. Okay! 1.3% Clear Rate. That’s it? That’s it? Yep! This is looking like a 1.3 level to me. ‘Cause it-
Because it’s so easy for me! Look at how easy it is, for me to win! I’m actually falling asleep. So, if I die, it’s because I fell asleep. Because it was too easy. No excuses this time! I’m awake now! Now I’m a-! Still got my blindfold-! …Time!
Real time! This is real- !
(Stutters) Okay! Uh…
Not even trying… Uh, Blindfold… It was lagging, controller’s not plugged in… It’s my little brother playing… I’m gonna be honest, you guys!
It was me playing the whole time! I don’t even have a little brother! (Laughs) I rule! Look at this!
I rule! (Laughs) (Stutters) Would you believe it?
My little brother just got the controller- This is me now! This is me playing! Oh, I missed… No blindfold this time! I’m awake, but it might be my little brother playing! It’s kind of lagging, so I don’t know-! OH… MY GOD! “A level for everyone.” 0.38% Clear Rate?
(Laughing) Okay! Okay! Let’s do this! Okay! Let’s do this for real, though. Hey, guys! Why did the Mario crossed the level? To get to the… Checkpoint on the other siiiiiiide! What have I done to deserve this? Oh! Oh! Yeah!
Not this time, you beavers! Stupid beavers! (Laughs) To get to the checkpoint on the other siiiiiiiiide-! Okay! Now, watch this… Bah! Bah! Bah! Hey! Dodge! Woo! Oh- Yea-!
Alright! How many Marios screw in a light bulb? Hey! 13… How many times I’ve died in this part-?
(Joking) 58 times!
(Angry) I did it! I did-! Fucking child’s play. Check this out! Fucking easy! Fff- The best video game is Chicken Boarders 3. Heeeeeyyy… ♪ Pah! ♪ ♪ Pah! ♪ ♪ Easy game! ♪ ♪ Pah! ♪ ♪ Pah! ♪ ♪ Easy game-! ♪ ♪ Pah! Pah! Easy game! ♪ ♪ Pah! Pah! Easy game! ♪ Pah! Pah! EASY GAME! No! We’re doing it! We’re doing it! We’re doing it! BOO! Now, the easy part… Fight the Big Beaver. I died to the Big Beaver. Yah! Yyyyyaaaaahh-! Come on! Yah! Yah! Ooh… Wah! Fuck! Why does it not work anymore?! I know the trick… You dumb beavers can’t trick me! Remember? I have the World Record on “Bowser’s Big Bean Burrito”. Phew! Okay! Only- Yeah!
Only took me 19 minutes. Felt a little longer than that! “Thomps are on the loose” UH-OH! SOMEBODY’S STUPID! Frank, they’re called Thwomps. Ever played Mario, you frickin’ moron? Woah! Woah! Woah! Okay! Ooh-buh-bah! Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh! Hey, Frank. That “Thomp” almost killed me. Right, Frank? (Laughs) “THOMP”
(Laughing) This guy’s so dumb!
(Laughing) Frank, you are one of the dumber players- Oh, shit! Frank, I was just kiddin’-!
I was just kid-! (Nervous gibberish) Ey! I got killed by a Goomba.
Right, Frank? “Level can only be beaten by sliding backwards.” How does that work? So what do you do?
You just-? You just-? This? I’m just gonna cheat it. Let’s just cheat-
You can’t cheat it. One time, uh-
True story. I was-
I was actually having bagels with, uh, Uncle Kracker, the musician, and a man stopped me and said: “Hey!” “Aren’t you the guy?” And Uncle Kracker looked, and then he said: “Aren’t you the guy who has the World Record…” “On the level Bowser’s Big Bean Burrito?” He wasn’t- He wasn’t- He-
He didn’t even care about Uncle Kracker
(Laughing) and he wanted my autograph, and-
Just ’cause I beat that level. Ah- I’m just gonna cheat, for one sec- I was just cheating for one inch, man! Cut me a break! It was just for one sec-! Boom! Easy! No, that was a mistake.
I was supposed to jump on top of that. I can get the mushroom. Just get the mush- Okay. Okay! Yep! (Smack lips) Alright! (Smack lips) You know who makes this level? Doggio. Not this time, Doggio! (Laughs) Now what? What do you do? Is it-? Oh! I didn’t even know you could do that! That’s pretty coo-! (Angry) I quit! Holy shit! 0% Clear Rate.
(Laughing) Oh my god!
(Laughing) 0 clears out of 2000 attemps.
(Laughing) Okay! (Clap hands)
Here we go! Ah…
What are we-? What are we-?
What are we dealing with here? This is- Okay!
This is not so bad! Just gotta go down here…
Okay… And this cha- Okay! Yep!
That’s why is 0%. That’s why. This treadmill right here is a piece of shit! This is a piece of shit thing! This sucks! This is ass! What do you do-? WHAT DO YOU DO?!
FU- Just a complete crapshoot if you even make it- I just-
PIECE OF SHIT! Come on! (Stutters) AAAHH… I hate this! I hate this so much!
(Laughing) Just go- (Gasps) Okay!
We’re just- Just gotta go- Just hit- (Gibberish) Suck-my-dick! Ah-
What? Oh… Oh! (Nervous gibberish) (Gasps) (Laughs) This is the piece of shittiest level I’ve e-! (Gasps) (Gibberish) Not this time, you fuckin’ dickhead! Phew!
Okay! Oh- (Slams his desk) Great level! I’ve checked every single spot now where it could be a hidden Star Block. There is-
There’s nothing! He has-
He must have beaten this for real, to upload this. This is fucked up! This time I’ll make it through though! This time I’ll make it through though! This time I’ll make it through though! Holy shit! I made it through! (Gasps) (unintelligible) I did it! (Laughs) How do you delete other people’s levels? (Clock ticking)
[ ♪ “Timber Owls” – Final Fantasy VIII OST ♪ ] Ahh…
(Tired) That again…
(Tired) Funny… game…
Wait! Wait! Wait! No, I’m alive! I’m alive in the Cannonball part!
I’m a-! Okay! (Clock ticking) Fff… Fuck you! Fuck you! I’m the greatest Mario Player in the entire universe! Now, for the shittiest tornado mechanic in any videogame… (Gasps) (Stutters) No! Don’t-!
Please! No! (Coughs) (Coughs) (Coughs) (Out of air) Wha-? I win! I win! I win! I am the greatest player of all time! Checkpoint. There’s still more, but we got a checkpoint. Please, work! Please, work!
(Laughing) I don’t wanna do this all over again.
(Laughing) Come on…
(Nervous) Yeh! Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay! Okay! (Clock ticking) (Eek) I win! Aaahh… Okay! Yeah! That was-!
That was a pretty fun level! Just, uh… Just a little too easy.
For me, personally. [OUTRO]
♪ “World 2” – Super Mario 3D World OST ♪