We are going to show you how to turn this into something that looks like YOU made it. Welcome to Slacker Mom’s Guide to Baking. Ok. I don’t have time for this shit. Oh, this will help. We are here to tell you how NOT to bake. You’re telling me. I’m not in this. Oh, you’re in it. Okay. We’re going to tell you how to turn this into something that looks like you made it. First, we’re going to talk pies. What kind of pie? Apple pie? PIES. It doesn’t matter what kind you got. Whatever is on sale. This was $2.99 Store bought pies crusts are a dead giveaway because they’re so
perfect and symmetrical. The key is roughing up the crust. Oh! Okay. Really get in there. Get in there! Fancy plates are the key. Remove the pie from it’s store bought container and just plop it on the fancy platter. It automatically likes more homemade that way. Nice! The tops of store bought pies are too pristine. You are going to
cover them up. Take some whipped cream. Swirl it over the top. And then, for an extra special effect You can sprinkle some nutmeg or cinnamon on there to make it look all homemade. Cake. With store bought cakes, again, the frosting is a
dead giveaway. Use a butter knife. Rough up the frosting just make it look like you did it at home. Yeah, yeah okay. Brownies. My favorite. When you buy them from the store, the way that they are cut and the edges are just too… Symmetrical. She’s getting it, people. I’m getting it! She’s getting it. Take a butter knife, rough up the edges, cut them up and make them look LESS perfect. Got it. What you really need are divets. Divets! Divets… Cookies. Cookies are like the bane of a mom’s existence. Yes. Warm cookies always seem more homemade. You don’t even have to use the oven. Pop them in the microwave for thirty seconds. Your house will
smell like cookies. Nobody will know the difference. If you want extra points, char the bottom of store bought cookies in a frying pan over butter. You know. To give them that homemade, slightly burnt looked. Cupcake towers are all the rage. And they are easy to find. Walmart, Target, whatever. And I have run double-blind scientific studies which have proven that cupcakes served on cupcake towers automatically appear more home made. It’s true. It’s science. Science!! Science! When you are finished “baking”, you need to leave out all the evidence. Especially if guests are coming. Pop the oven on so the room gets warmer. And then take every baking thing you own and scatter it all over the counter. Throw some flour on yourself. Take some chocolate syrup pour it into a mixing bowl just so it looks dirty. It’s all about the APPEARANCE of baking. Beep. She beeped herself. She never beeps herself. I censored her over here. Beep, beep. Subscribe! You click on the button below. The red “Subscribe” button. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It’s right here. I think. We don’t know. It’s on Jen’s t*ts. Did she say “t*ts” again?? Don’t watch these in front of your kids! Stop drinking the props!