Ranking all 200+ Mega Man robots | Unraveled

Ranking all 200+ Mega Man robots | Unraveled

The Mega Man robot masters
were not always evil. In fact, most were mechanized workers, created
specifically to make life on Earth more efficient and wonderful. AND THEN THAT MASSIVE DONGER, DR. WILY, TURNED ‘EM ON US! So Mega Man destroyed them, and the world
was saved. But… just how useful were these robots? And were they useful enough to chance a robot
uprising? What if someone ranked every single Mega Man
robot master from most to least useful to see which ones were really worth the risk. Someone should try to do that. It’s me. I’m the one who’s going to do that. Before I get started on the gradient of
worth it to not worth it, I’m gonna talk about the protagonists, or “the good guys”
even though some of them aren’t specifically good. A lot of these robots were built to be sentient
for the sake of being sentient, and I do not feel at all qualified to discuss the philosophical
implications of that. So I’m gonna put ‘em over here. Mega Man. Mega Man X. Mega Man red. They’re all over here. I’m not gonna touch that. So what kind of robots are good when they’re
sentient? I think that it’s things humans cannot do. Things that perhaps only a robot could do. One that can think for itself would be pretty
worthwhile. So let’s start with those ones. The ones that are good. Number one: Chill Man. Chill Man is a recent robot master who was
built to help stop global warming. And heaven knows we need that. Definitely worthwhile. Next is another cold friend: Freeze Man. Freeze Man was built to make a non-polluting
energy. He would make that energy by
splitting average temperatures into hot temperatures and cold temperatures. I’m choosing to think of that as something
like nuclear fission as opposed to choosing to think of it as dumb. Commando Man. Terrible name, but he was actually a minesweeping
robot. One of the first gens, Elec Man. He controlled nuclear power plants. He could help make sure the nuclear power
plant was shut down in case anything bad ever happened to one. Hopefully it won’t! SsssssSTAR MAN! He was built to explore the universe. Humans are real squishy, really, when you
think about it. It might be nice to have a man going out into
the stars, a Star Man. Also in his flavor text, he’s apparently
a romantic and, like, loves poetry, and that’s what we need out in the stars. While he’s up there, Galaxy Man is helping
figure out the trajectories. Splash Woman! She’s super useful because she goes and
helps shipwrecked sailors, or just people lost at sea. I feel like she’d do a better job than,
I dunno, the Coast Guard or whatever. Not that I’m shitting on the Coast Guard. They do do good… I’m digging myself in a hole. Wait, where’d Toad Man go? *worry about Toad Man* Where’s my guy Toad Man? Toad Man. He irrigates crops during drought. Very useful. Why’d they make him a toad? Ice Man. I swear we’ve got a lot of cold people up
here at the front. He’s built specifically to do human-like
tasks in cold weather. So he’s good! More cold friends. Blizzard Man. There to help monitor the weather in arctic
environments. Looks and names can be deceiving, and Junk
Man is super important. Junk Man was built so he could find useable
robot parts that have been left out. Think about how much electronic waste we make. It would be great if something could go dig
through all of our trash and find the useable circuit boards. That’s important. Hornet Man. We’ve done some shit to bees y’all. He pollinates the flowers. Would be very useful if we continue to keep
doing shit to bees. And finally, we’ve got Cloud Man and Tornado
Man. They both are actually useful for, uh, controlling
the weather when things are bad. I’m gonna put Cloud Man in front of Tornado
Man because Tornado Man, uh, was, was built to stop tropical storms. Which is not what a tornado is. He needs a different name. There we go. These ones I would say are worth the risk. We still have like 180 more to go. We got a bunch of construction robots next. We’ll start with everyone’s favorite:
Guts Man. Imagine there’s a line right here. Maybe I’ll put it in in after effects. That might be too much work. I’m probably not gonna do that. Good ones. Now we’re into construction zone. Guts Man comes first because he’s a civil
engineer. He’s not only strong and can lift big rocks,
but he can build bridges probably. We’ve got Aqua Man and Pump Man. Both of them are used for water filtration. I’m gonna put Aqua Man in front of Pump
Man because Pump Man’s flavor text explains that sometimes he’ll volunteer to wash off
graffiti, and no one likes a narc. Bomb Man: bombs. Ground Man: excavation. Block Man: makes blocks. Concrete Man: concrete. Needle Man: needles. I guess it’s drilling. Drill Man: also drilling. Bit Man, from the DOS game. He is also a driller. You think that after the first two went bad…
they would’ve stopped making drill robots, right? Oil Man DOS. He does oil… things. Hard Man. *trying to keep it together* He doesn’t actually have a, um, flavor text
explanation for what he is other than that he is very heavy. So I am assuming that he is for ground leveling. Um. But maybe he’s just big? Impact Man: piling. Cut Man: tree cutting. Torch Man DOS: welding. Fuse Man: electrical equipment management. Oil Man: keeping things oiled. Spark Man: making sparks! I think he actually charges things. Fire Man. He was made to incinerate trash. Bond Man. He was supposed to be in the first game until
they realized… he was just glue. Stone Man. I assume bricks, but actually they only say
that he hangs out with Guts Man, so maybe he’s just moral support. Flame Man. He generates thermal power. But also he’s powered by thermal power? Which seems recursive. And also impossible. Jewel Man. He not only mines the jewels but he polishes
them. Finally, in the construction, it’s Slash
Man. He was specifically made to cut down trees
so that you could build SECRET bases. I don’t know why they insisted on saying
it was for secret bases. That seems like a waste of a robot. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think we
needed to make these ones sentient, because you know what, Hard Man? I think steamrollers were doing just fine. Now we’re getting into a category I like
to call… Sure??? They’re not necessarily bad. I just think we could probably do without
Wind Man, who apparently helps with the harvest… with fans. Astro Man, who just works in a planetarium. Gravity Man. He can control gravity which could be useful? Dive Man. He was built to catch fish with torpedoes. They made him look like a submarine and they
gave him torpedoes. Feel like they should’ve seen this coming. Solar Man. Now he investigates solar things, I guess. He also apparently developed an exercise routine. I don’t know why they needed to put that
in the flavor text, but it definitely put him in the “Sure???” category. Top Man. I’ll give ya… I’ll give you a guess about what he does. Did you guess “explore other planets?” Because yeah, that’s what he was designed
for. Why the FUCK is he a top? God these are all so good. We’re getting into the categories where
I can’t stop laugh… *clears throat* *deep breath* Serious. Snake Man. *laughter from everyone in the studio* He, uh, was supposed to explore other planets that had crevasses. And he’s a snake. Gyro Man. He was supposed to be a really good plane,
but then Wily ran out of money, so they just stuck a propellor on his back. Plant Man manages plants. Pharaoh Man. Only supposed to explore ruins. Blast Man. He manages fireworks. Fireworks are dangerous. Don’t play with fireworks. But also, maybe, don’t make a robot to play
with them. I love Nitro Man. I’m gonna be honest, I do feel kind of bad
putting him into the “Sure???” category. Uh, because Nitro Man was built specifically to
do motorcycle stunts in movies. The thing I really love about Nitro Man is
that he’s the president of a stunt robot club. Which I think is just wonderful. He’s still not useful. Here’s where thing get a little bit difficult
for me. Burst Man was built to be a guard. I’m not sure about robot, highly armed guards. But since he was specifically a guard… I keep saying specifically. I figure, like, that’s still defensive,
and so… I’ll put him here. But it’s a good segue! In the Mega Man games, not every robot was
made by Dr. Wily or Dr. Light. And in fact, there were some robots that were
made by other robots. Or were made extraterrestrially. Or were made specifically as a joke, like
“I can’t find my keys, man!” I’m gonna put them kind of as the split
in the middle to say, “Hey, these are nebulous, but they’re definitely not good.” Now that we’ve got this hard line of good
to bad, even though, to be honest, I think that the line should be here. It’s time for us to talk about the bad robots. J.J. Abrams. Some of these robots were built specifically
to murder. We can all agree that that is bad. I’m gonna put all of these murder robots
over on the very bad side. We also have a bunch of characters that are
Sonic robots. That is an affront to nature. They’re in the bad side, too. I also didn’t even print out all of the
NetNavis from Mega Man Battle Network even though I love those games because those were
software built with the specific intention of being mean online. And that’s just Twitter. I do just want to point out Aircon Man, who
was a robot sent from the future to destroy the world. And he’s also an air conditioning unit. Now *kick* let’s get into the fun part. These robots have absolutely no reason to
be sentient. Chemistry Man. He’s from the new cartoon. He apparently taught chemistry classes that
were so boring, he put kids to sleep. And then he took it really personally, and
decided to become evil. Sheep Man. He’s a shepard actually. Tundra Man. Built to do similar things to all of the high
echelon frozen people, but I’m including him over here because he got really bored
at his job and then decided to become an ice skater. This is why you don’t make sentient robots,
I guess. Hypno Woman. She was a therapist who hypnotized people
into bad things. DJ Jazzy J4-8950… is a boombox. You are a magnet. Plug Man charged electrical things. Like a plug could do. Strike Man sounds cool, but he’s just a
baseball throwing machine. It’s me. Spring Man can… jump? Bright Man. Built to explore dark places. Kinda like a FLASHLIGHT. Cold Man’s a refrigerator. Seriously. Sword Man. He was developed to hold a sword that Wily
stole from a place. He’s not a sentient murder robot. He’s a sentient picture frame. Things that don’t really need to be sentient? A vacuum. It’s Dust Man. Although, Dust Man is quoted as saying, “Don’t
let me suck more than I can handle!” So you know what, actually, I take this back. He’s more important than Chill Man. We’ve already done the worthwhile ones. We’ve talked about the construction ones. We’ve talked about the ones that are “eh
whaat uh sure w-okay thas fine.” We have all of the ones that are alien. And we’ve got the ones that really didn’t
need to be sentient. We are left with the dregs of robotic society. I call this category… NO. We’ll start with Crystal Man. He was built to make crystals so that Dr.
Wily could sell them for money. Turbo Man is a car. Or rather, he used to be a car, but then he
was turned into turbo man. Charge Man. Is he a train? No. But he’s meant to camouflage as one. I think Dr. Wily’s just real into trains. You know what I think about when I think of
“Safety Operations Manager?” A big man full of magma. Built to make sure a plant kept safe, but
also had a bunch of cauldrons full of boiling magma in him. Time Man. He’s a time machine. That never goes well. Acid Man was built to be a chemist. What’s he good for, titrations? That’s a chemistry joke. Centaur Man. He… was a tour guide. Just hire a 16 year old. Like, they need the job. Shark Man DOS. Shark Man DOS not need to exist. Oh we’ve been doing this for like five hours. *CLAP CLAP* Goddamnit. Magic Man was built to be a magician in like
a traveling circus sort of show. And then he was not turned evil, he just decided
to conscript in King’s army because he wanted to show off. Here’s the big rule of thumb: magicians
are always evil. Shade Man. He looks like a vampire, doesn’t he? It’s ‘cause he was built to look like
one. He was an animatronic robot in a haunted house. Somebody thought we should make that creepy
animatronic robot sentient. PHEW remember how Centaur Man was a tour guide? Well so was Dynamo Man. But they also made him constantly shoot off
electricity. That’s a bad tour guide. When they got into, like, the late game stages,
they were just like, “I dunno, he’s a tour guide for a thing.” Torch Man was built to teach kids about fire
safety in the woods. Which is kind of like if Smokey the Bear was CONSTANTLY ON FIRE. You thought torch man was bad, let me tell
ya about Burner Man, who was made, and I quote, “to bring harm to natural environments.” Technically not murder. Definitely bad. Remember how I said that a lot of these guys
were tour guides? Well let me tell you about Blade Man. Built to show off an old castle full of swords. And also was a sword. Tengu Man. Makes typhoons. HOOOKAY. We’re at the final three here. We’ve made it. And I’d say that these three really hammer
home the point that we should not be making sentient robots. We’ve got Pirate Man. Not a murder robot. But was built to do pirate things, like steal
from other ships. He does look cool as hell, though. The second to last robot is not actually a
terrible robot idea. But it is a testament to just how trash human
beings are. Bounce Man was built to be a crash test dummy. Some asshole thought, “Hey, you know that
thing we throw against a wall, many miles-per-hour, every single day, multiple times a day? You know what would make that better? IF IT COULD FEEL PAIN.” WHAT? Luckily, Bounce Man bounced from that job
and then became an exercise instructor. Humans are trash. Finally, we’ve come to number one. Clown Man. Who has ever watched a clown and thought to
themselves, “Boy, I wish that thing never got tired!” Clown Man is terrible, and I’m not saying
that clowns are terrible. Okay? Clowns serve their purpose. They’re creepy. Sometimes good. And… You know what, I do take that back, clowns
don’t serve a purpose. That’s it. All 200+ Mega Man robot masters, of which
15 are kind of okay. Elon Musk: don’t get any ideas. This is what man has wrought. You will see these men in your nightmares. Particularly, Spring Man. Jumping around. Make sure to like this video and subscribe
to Polygon. And maybe leave a comment about what I should
take care of next. Because this… was bad.

100 thoughts on “Ranking all 200+ Mega Man robots | Unraveled

  1. I was unaware there were this many “mans”


    There’s a shocking amount

    No one needs you snake man


  2. I just want to say this, I watched this first before learning what titrations are, then I learned what they were and in class I, out loud, said "Oh, I get it now". I am not joking, this actually happened. I now know what I am most embarrassed of.

  3. Maybe of Willy did more that 8 spread out robots with highly abusable and obvious weaknesses he would stand a chance

    But no. Always 8, always on opposite ends of the Earth, always super weak to something super obvious

  4. I love this video so much… Because of ADHD I'm understimulated a lot and I usually just play this in the background when I need to be productive lol

  5. interested in an unofficial BDG Fanclub discord? if you're reading this why don't you take a look?


  6. 'Sexy man' poking in at the alien/joke section. Oh no, the prostitution robots we all know will exist if we get this developed in tech

  7. 7:38
    My favorite video of his so naturally I've watched 15 times (Not an exaggeration) It took me way to long to find out he was saying Top as in the spinning toy and not as A TOP LIKE IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    I can't handle my dumbass sometimes

  8. Fun fact: Japan don't have a fear for clowns and claims they have found America's weakness.
    (I remember its a girl mascot from a game i cant remember nvm)

  9. 1:45 The “splitting of average temperature into hotter and colder temperature” refers to heat flow. Imagine a gas, which has a temperature T.
    Note: Temperature refers to the potential of a body to transfer heat. So when we say something is at 100 degrees and something else is at 25 degrees, heat will continue to flow until both things attain the same temperature.
    So, moving on… Imagine a molecule in that gas. So, statistically speaking, each molecule may have a different ‘potential’ of heat transfer, which basically means that some molecules may have higher energy than some other molecules. But, on averaging, they are all at temperature T.

    Okay, so now we’re ready.
    So we can imagine freeze man to have some internal device which can somehow pick the hotter molecules and separate them into a “higher temperature” (let’s call it A), and colder molecules into a “lower temperature” (let’s call it B).

    Now, energy can be produced (in the form of Work) when the heat flows from A to B, as heat flows from higher to lower temperatures.

    This is a concept in Physics called Maxwell’s Demon, if anyone’s interested. But this is impossible. So, Freeze Man is practically impossible to make.

  10. "Star man!" Brian pronounced that the way I feel about myself when I dress up real nice and look at myself in the mirror :3

  11. Dust Man is a robo-Cannibal. His stage is made of broken robots and he eats junk. What are broken robot parts but more Junk to be consumed? Edit: Also, I've always felt bad for Bounce Man, Dr. Light is an @$$hole for making a SENTIENT CRASH TEST DUMMY A POSSIBILITY. That's be like if the Dummy from Mythbusters (Named Buster) was sentient for the show's entire run! Edit#2: Also you forgot about Honey Woman, she does similar tasks to Hornet man so she's good.

  12. I keep coming back to this video and whenever it gets to top man I just wish I could explain to this guy that top man goes to space because they essentially used spinning tops to prove some interesting theories.

  13. Fun fact about Hornet Man and his usefulness: most “save the bees” organizations give their money and time twirls helping honey bees but honey bees are not the ones going extinct, are globally distributed, and are a purely domesticated insect. Most of the bees having problems are wild, solitary, ground nesting bees you’ve never heard of before. Most of the bees we are killing are killed as pest insects because they look weird and most gardeners assume they are flies. Honeybees are an invasive species to North America, and create food shortages for other bee species. Our love for honey and the misinformation of many proponents of the “save the bees” movement is partly responsible for the decline of wild bees.

    TLDR: honeybees are fine, wild bees are not, and the “save the bees” movement is partially responsible for people ignoring the real problem and therefore the decline of wild bees.

  14. Separating temperatures actually plays into a Japanese concept of using thermal differentials to generate power, essentially using the heat gradient between the surface and lower portions of the ocean to facilitate power generation. It's a cool idea, so yeah, Freeze Man's in a good spot!

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