Key & Peele – Al Qaeda Meeting

Key & Peele – Al Qaeda Meeting


– BROTHERS.
BROTHERS, LET US BEGIN. I HAVE CONVENED THIS MEETING
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. WHY HAVE WE NOT TAKEN A PLANE
IN 13 YEARS? – KHALIV.
YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. IT IS ALL BECAUSE THE CUNNING
AND MIGHTY TSA IS ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF US. – I DO NOT BELIEVE IT!
– IT’S TRUE. LAST MONTH,
I ATTEMPTED TO TAKE DOWN A PLANE WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS
FIVE INCHES LONG. – THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A PERFECT PLAN. WHY DID IT NOT WORK? – BECAUSE THE SHREWD TSA, THEY MADE RESTRICTIONS SO YOU CAN ONLY
TAKE A FOUR-INCH SCISSORS. FOUR INCHES.
– WHAT? – YEAH. – HOW COULD THEY KNOW
THAT A FIVE-INCH BLADE IS A DANGEROUS WEAPON
AND A FOUR-INCH BLADE IS NO MORE
THAN A CHILD’S PLAY THING? – THAT IS THE GENIUS OF TSA. THEY FOIL US AT EVERY TURN. – DEVILS! – YOU KNOW, IT’S THE SAME WAY
WITH THE LIQUID. – OH, YEAH. – WE ALL KNOW
HOW MUCH DEVASTATION WE CAN WREAK WITH 3.5 OUNCES
OF LIQUID. – THE–THE DAMAGE
IS INCALCULABLE. – THE CRAFTY TSA, THEY HAVE LIMITED PASSENGERS
TO ONLY 3.4 OUNCES. – DAMN IT! – YEAH. – DO NONE OF YOU
HAVE THE SOLUTION HOW– FOR US TO THWART THIS TSA? – KHALIV, KHALIV. IT’S LIKE YOU’VE BEEN
LIVING IN A–WELL, HERE. LOOK…THE TSA,
THEY STRIKE FEAR INTO MY HEART WITH THEIR POLYESTER SHIRTS AND THEIR DISPOSABLE RUBBER
GLOVES. AND THE–AND THE–
THE SNEAKER SHOES! – THEY ARE SO CLEVER. – CLEVER.
– YES. THEY–THEY ACT AS IF THEY ARE
LISTLESS, OVERWEIGHT EMPLOYEES WHO DON’T GIVE A FUCK. WHEN IN REALITY, THEY ARE AN ELITE FORCE
OF ANTI-TERRORIST COMMANDOS! – OH, CURSE THE BRILLIANT TSA. – IF I MAY. I BELIEVE I HAVE A WAY
TO TRIUMPH OVER THE WILY TSA. – FINALLY.
– OKAY. – LET’S GIVE HIM A SHOT. – I HAVE A PLAN
TO PUT A BOMB IN A LAPTOP, AND IT WILL DETONATE
ONCE YOU PULL IT FROM ITS CASE. – YES!
YES, IT IS PERFECT! PLANES WILL RAIN DOWN
FROM THE SKY ONTO THE INFIDELS! [all chanting and singing] WHAT?
PARVEZ, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? – S–S–SNEAK IN HERE
FOR A SECOND, ‘CAUSE I DON’T– I DON’T WANT TO BE THE BEARER
OF BAD NEWS HERE– – THEN DON’T BE!
– YET YOU ARE. – IT’S AS IF THE PROPHETIC
AND ALL-KNOWING TSA HAS PREDICTED YOUR PLAN. THEY MAKE YOU TAKE THE LAPTOP
OUT OF THE CARRYING CASE AND PUT IT IN A SEPARATE BIN
BEFORE YOU GET ON THE PLANE. – COME ON,
YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, PARVEZ? ‘CAUSE IT’S NOT A FUNNY JOKE
IF IT’S A JOKE. – IT’S NO TIME FOR KIDDING.
I WOULDN’T KID. – OH, MY GOD.
– NO. – I CANNOT BELIEVE
THESE MOTHERS OF DEVILS. – YEAH. – WELL, VERY WELL, THEN. SINCE YOU HAVE ALL FAILED, I WILL TELL YOU HOW WE
WILL DESTROY THE NONBELIEVERS. I HAVE DEVELOPED
THE SMALLEST BOMB POSSIBLE. AND IT FITS PERFECTLY INTO THIS, A FULL-SIZED TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE. YES!
IT’S REALLY GREAT, ISN’T IT? I MEAN, IT’S THE–
– DON’T DO HIM LIKE THAT. – WHAT’S GOING ON OVER HERE? WHAT’S THE SITUATION OVER HERE? – OKAY. IS THERE A VERSION
OF THE TOOTHPASTE BOMB THAT COMES IN TRAVEL-SIZE? – YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT’S LIKE THEY’RE IN OUR HEADS.

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Al Qaeda Meeting

  1. Very brave comedy by Keye and Peele, consider what happened at Charlie magazine France. Great respect for their comedic genius and guts.

  2. This is so funny. The fact is that all the money spent on tsa they have never stop or Prevented a terror attack.

  3. What the tsa wishes would be a fact, in reality no tsa in the us of A has passed the simple test of preventing terrorism. I believe they had 9 out of 10 bombs go through!

  4. I am ddepley offended this is racist and not true islam is about peace and love these are not muslims they are misguided and incirrect and muslim nation do not agree with their actions i am deepley offended this is not funny this is a serious topic

  5. These backward people “Taleban” have cost us the might US of A billion of dollars and still we couldn’t defeat them!!? It is not just us the NATO is heavily involved. It took us 5 years to kick Hitler’s, yet for some reason " the US military complex, who r selling our army weapons and making a shit load of money off of our military personnel who have r serving our country. Shame on you the 1%. Not only that our gov keeps telling us they don't negotiate with terrorists, yet behind our backs they r doing so in the small Persian island in Qatar

  6. "You know how much damage we could cause with 3.5 ounces of liquid?"
    "Its Incalculable"
    "They reduced it to 3.4 OUNCES"
    LOLOLOLOL

  7. 1:37 when peele says "its like you've been living in a……here" it means cave cause get itttt?? they are in a cave in the mountains 😀

  8. They're distorting Arab and Islam's image, i mean the owner of the of the channel key and peele, all religions have radical groups

  9. The damage caused by 3.5 ounces of a liquid is incalculable…… LOL! I love this skit! These airport regulations are ridiculous!

  10. Umm they should have left out the pic of Osama, just saying, that bastards pic doesn't deserve such a place like in such great comedy or anywhere else for that matter, but that's my own opinion.

  11. You can do a lot to make actor look like a certain race when they have mixed racial features, good accents, and you mess with the camera lighting.

  12. There's two truths in this story
    The first truth is the stupidity of terrorists.
    The second truth is the stupidity of the TSA.

  13. If you think about it; if a terrorist is on a suicidal mission why wouldn’t he just be like a drug mule and just insert an explosive inside himself or have it surgically implanted?
    Do they just stop at overt methods?

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