Ethan: We have a special episode of EthanAndHila Ethan: Hila has been talking mad shit lately.
Hila: (Chuckles) Ethan: And I feel like we need to put this to rest Ethan: She used to play this game “agar.io” Ethan: A lot. Hila: I’m not a gamer, but– Ethan: She’s not a gamer Hila: Sometimes I’ll find like a game that I really like Ethan: — Fuck you gamer girl Go home gamer girl Ethan: I’m a gamer, Hila is not Hila: So, but, I really like simple games like agar.io Ethan: Mm-hmm.
Hila: That was one of my favorites Ethan: So you were really good at agar.io Ethan: So much so that I don’t think I ever beat her Ethan: Sometimes, like, I game a lot Ethan: When she decides she wants to play a game she f–she humiliates me Ethan: Like the first game we ever played together was like temple run Hila: Oh yeah! Ethan: And I was like, “Dude you’re fuckin’, you’re wrecked dude!” I kept beating her and beating her. Ethan: and then one day, she comes out with like, the highest score (#GetRekt) — you could ever imagine, and I tried and I’m like, “Hila, you’re ruining the game; it’s not fun anymore.” Hila: (While laughing) I play all the shitty games too Ethan: But the truth is here. -Hila thinks she’s better than me at “Slither.io” (Fat Chance) — and I think, I mean obviously, there’s just no–it’s just not possible so she’s been talking mad shit — she’s saying “I’m gonna f**k you up at “Slither.io.” – and I’m like “Get lost, gamer girl!”. Ethan: Why don’t you start, big dog? Ethan: What’s your name? Hila: I don’t know, usually I have a name when I play Ethan: Mmhmm, like everybody? Hila: very specific name. Ethan: DAMN! Get- come out with the creative names! Ethan: If you don’t know about “Slither.io”, — it’s a game in which you role play -as a..worm… …or as I (sss) like to call it: a giant red dog boner… with eyes. Ethan: And you’re on a quest to consume as much schmutz as possible. Ethan: AKA little dots. Ethan: Which is obviously…. poop. Ethan: So essentially you’re pooping all over the field… Ethan: and people all over the field are eating your poop… (Human Centipede?) Ethan: essentially its a giant worm… Ethan: shmorgishborg… of feces Ethan: There’s a scoreboard here, and like, everyone tries to get on top of the scoreboard I was number one several times.. and Hila’s- Hila: *laughing* WHEN
Ethan: Hila’s topped out at three Ethan: Now, Hila, like, her style.. I can see she’s a scavenger. She’s not a showman… she’s a scavenger Oh my goodness, Schmutz City, USA *sad music plays* R.I.P dog boner
You were my favorite Ethan: Oh god, Hila. That is just-
Hila: Oh no… Ethan: You know what? You played very recklessly.. You got.. You got seduced by all that schmutz and now its my turn. Hila: I blame you (We all do Ethan..) Ethan: For what? My turn-
Hila: *laughing* Ethan: Get- get out of here Ethan: Get lost gamer girl Ethan: It’s my turn.. to shine. Ethan: Gamer boys rule Gamer boys rule Every time I play, I win Gamerboys… rule. Hila: Well why don’t we see it? Ethan: *Rekted* Ethan: *muttering* Fuckin’ done, dude. Ethan: So I like to call this game “the game for more schmutz” cause.. it’s essentially- Ethan: -you’re picking up schmutz Ethan: aaand I almost died. Ethan: DUDE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS wait, that wasn’t r- fair.. who’s that guy?? *NOM NOM* Ethan: Hold on.. hold on..
Hila: That wasn’t a very long game Ethan: *coughs* Ethan: Ok can you NOT dude Hila: Of course, I’m not surprised.. *Arcade-ish Music Plays?* G O H O M E , G A M E R G I R L Ethan: I need more schmutz, and I need it right now. Ethan *muttering* I’m just a little fuckin worm.. Ethan: HELLOOO DOLLYYYY Get on my level please Ethan: Excuse me dude. Are you trying to fuck with me right now dawg? Ethan: ‘Cause I-
Hila: Ohhhhhh… Ethan: I feel like maybe you’re trying to fuck with me. Hila: Yeah, he is.. Ethan: You wanna joust, dawg? You wanna go fuckin’ schmutz joust with me dawg? Ethan: You wanna schmutz joust with me daaaaaawwwwwgggg Ethan: Dude, I..I like ate my own f-feces (Headphone user warning!!!) (MYEARS!!!11!!) Ethan: OHHHHHHH OHHHH I’m like more of a socialist schmutz eater I’m like down to share, ya know what I mean? I don’t believe that one worm should have too much schmutz… I believe that worms should cherish schmutz equally (Amen) Hila: I think that’s like… Oooh! Ethan: Wait, what? Ethan: It’s time to enter the Matrix, dude I’m tunneling under the earth with Schmutz-io This is it Hila: You’re gonna get on the leaderboard Ethan: Okay, did you just notice how I fucked that guy up? Ok, can we talk about that Hila: You’re okay.. Ethan: I don’t see you pushing on the gas and pumpin’ anyone dude- *gasps for dear life* Ethan: w h y ? Hila: see that’s what happens Ethan: sorry hila Ethan:*typing feverishly* sorry i’m a dissapointment dude (Don’t worry, I am too ;-;) Ethan: this game’s basically dark souls 3 *Bob Ross Music Plays* Hila: what should be my name? Ethan: time to get real Hila: ok.. i like that name
Ethan: o-or.. wait, hold on i have one even more creative.. Ethan: *speaking god’s forbidden name whispered into the hearts of only the most worthy* Hila Hila: *speaking the DAMN TRUTH* Thats a good one. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Ethan: There’s nothing more powerful than the truth Just follow the trail of tears, dude. Just like the indians. 🙂 Follow the trail of tears 🙂 Ethan: Oh that was aaaallll you
Hila: *breathing in* That was nice Ethan: How’d that taste? Hila: *talkin ’bout that DANK SHIT* Good Ethan: Good shit right? LIl schmutz dots *blazed af* It’s good shit right dawg? Ethan: *talkin bout dat dick* That is a nice girth and length. You’ve got a nice girth and length there hila. *nutting profusely off camera* OHH MAMA THAT’S ALL YOU. *recovering from that fine nut* ok be cool.. be cool.. don’t panic DO NOT PANIC. Ethan: *considering paying Hila for that fine fuckin nut he has there but then remembers they’re married* I’ll pay- OH my FUCK Ethan: *remembers his beautiful wife* OK OK OK DON’T PANIC GEt ON THE GROUNd Hila: *laughing because she is god* Ethan: Ok dont freak out.. Ethan: *truly ascended* okAY YOU JUST WENT UP TO TEN THOUSAND SCHMUTZ POINTS Hila: *Hittin it from the back* Woo-hoo! Ethan: You are very close to the leaderboard so just keep it together Ethan: That is so much girth and length dude. I haven’t seen girth and length like that in quite a while ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You know what i mean?
Hila: I know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) “Sweet Romantic Music Plays” Ethan: OKAYYYY Ethan: Schmutz city, USA Ethan: Just be cool, be cool
Hila: *sees Papa Franku nut all over her kingdom* Now the pink guys coming.. Ethan: You’re so close..
Hila: AHH! Ethan: Keep it together.. Keep it together… Ethan: *nutting a-fucking-gain* AAAAAAAAAHHHHH Hila: *coming back home from Vietnam talking to her children of her war stories* i though he KILLED ME Ethan: Ok Hila you’re in seventh
Hila: Yeahhh! Ethan: You have fourteen points.. for schmutz Hila: AAH! Ethan: *High pitched voice* Be cool, be cool.. Sixteen thousand…. you’e in sixth place. KEEP THe SCHMUTZ TOGETHER DONT PANIC. DUDE. Ethan: Ok Hila, very proud of you I know we’re supposed to be competing but right now i’m just so proud of you. Hila, merciful god of slither.io: Lets forget about the competition. Ethan: There’s no competition. Gamer girl, you’re welcome here gamer girl You showed me the meaning of length and girth Hila: I think you really “Leveled up” Ethan: *war flashbacks to “Law & Order SVU on Gamers”* Ethan, victim of PTSD: *flashbacks to GO HOME GAMER GIRL* Ethan: Frankly, Hila, I’ve never know a girl show me the meaning of length and girth like you have and i just have to say “Thank you gamer girl” *fighting war flashbacks again* DONT PANIC DONT PANIc that is not a lot of schmutz that is not worth the struggle dude. This is- GO BACK GO BACK Those turns get haaard, eh? Keep your girth to yourself. I am no longer a socialist. I am a capitalist now. I want you to have aaall the girth ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) OH MY FUCK THATS YOU. That’s you. We should be careful. BE CAREFUL BE CAREFULLL. Go to safety. Go to safety That was a risky play, dude. you got nineteen thousand girth points. Ethan: The great girth battle of 2016. *ignorant to Hila’s benevolent godliness* That guy could’ve ABSOLUTELY destroyed you Careful, Careful, Careful! Ethan: *spitting holy wisdom* You’ll be a thin noodle if you get seduced by too much girth and length Get. The fuck. Out of there. Oh my god. Give ’em a sharp left. Hila: I don’t care Ethan: Your safe Ethan: Oh they’re fuckin STUCK! Ethan: Geeet it ew look go back go back Hila: Woohoo hoo hoo Ethan: Yes your VERY close to FIRST Ethan: The difference now Hila: *gasps with disbelief* Ethan: HOLY FUCK! DUDE can you please NOT! *Slow song plays* In the arms of the angels… FLY AWAAY! They leveled up. What now GO HOME GAMER GIRL! Ethan: I don’t think I ever Ethan: O Gawd just don’t uhhh ok Ethan: Ok be cool BE COOL HILA Hila: *Chuckles* Hila: You got to do the work to get to that number 1 Ethan: Pf dude no one said my name was easy Hila:*Gasps in Shock* NOOO!!! Go home gamer girl! *Explosion Sound* Ethan: Dude. *whispering* Let the BRADBERRIES hit the floor *whispering* Let the BRADBERRIES hit the floor *whispering* Let the BRADBERRIES hit the floor *whispering* Let the BRADBERRIES hit the FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!! “Sexy Outro Sequence” once again subtitles by SonicDude2 – Subscribe for free memes