In the year 202?, the biggest slasher of all time is coming to Dead By Daylight. So, I was streaming a bunch of crappy horror movies when I saw this guy and I was all like whoa, big boy! Gotta have that! WINK SOUND Introducing The Camper! Jason is your worst nightmare. He’s even been to space! Hi. Using his power, Jason can jumpscare you, unless you’re watching one of his movies in which you totally know when it’s coming. Da-doo-doo-doo-doo. Jason: Ah!
Dwight: Ah!! You scared me to death! Sorry. Sorry. It’s just kind of my thing… You know? I know. I know. BREATHES DEEPLY Y-You going to be okay? I just need a moment. Totally understandable. I’ll just go. Okay, but I… Oh. Oh right. Sneaky. The Campers’ personal perks include When Jason’s around too long you can’t help but cry like a baby. Why can’t I shut up and not give away where I am?! Yeah, that’ll be changed after the first week. I’ll keep crying until it is… Your Mom will talk so much that you’ll instantly go to settings to turn her off only to realize it’s not possible. Jason my boy, do you know what your gift is? Because Mommy forgot. (Hiccup) I need some more vodka. Oh yeah, that’s the (hiccup) stuff. Now, where was I? Oh ya, kill for Mother! (hiccup) Dwane or whoever is in that locker there. Dwight: (From Inside Locker) No I’m not The Entity also grabbed a new Survivor. So yeah, in that same movie I saw this hotty and I was all like whoa, big guy! Gotta have that. WINK SOUND Jason’s dead and I’m going to see he stays that way. even though he’s still sort of alive. I actually don’t know what’s going on with him, to be perfectly honest. Tommy’s personal perks include… So yeah, when I was 12 Jason killed my whole family and, wait, did my sister survive? Eh, it doesn’t matter. NARRATOR: Tommy’s seen too much and now he can’t stop talking about his past when around other survivors causing them to all walk faster to get away from him. Hello? I wasn’t finished. CLAUDETTE: (far away) We know! He’s young, hung and full of… himself. Tommy can drop pallets faster than anyone else. That’s right killer mains, pallet vacuum is back! No! No! I quit. I quit! Not doing that again. Tommy’s tough and likes his skill checks even tougher! Oh yeah! it just doesn’t feel right without them red skill checks. Time to tap it out. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Did somebody call me? HUNTRESS: (Off screen) Tapp, come back to bed! Welcome, Jason Voorhees (VOO-R-HESS)! I think you already
familiar with Freddy Krueger (KRU-EGG-ER). Hrmp! Yeah. Well, thanks, I’m glad to be here as my game is pretty much dead. Great! Now every comment is going to be about that! Just had to open your fat mouth, didn’t you? JASON: This is a very nice basement. I like the mood lighting. WRAITH: Yes, and we now have Wi-Fi, oh and Disney +! NEA: You’re welcome!! TRAPPER: And wait until I tell you about Amazon Prime! WRAITH: Okay, are we done with this fake scenario? NEA: Yeah, we’re done. WRAITH: This was not real. WRAITH: I guess it doesn’t matter as we’re in the credits WRAITH: And nobodies watching. NEA: Also, subscribe and like. That’s important. WRAITH: Shut up.