Chess King – Disabled Puppet Theatre

Chess King – Disabled Puppet Theatre


Yes! Yes! Yes, my pretties! Hey, Harelip. Ooo! Checkers with action figures! Helmet Kid! I’m glad you’re here. I got this chess set from Craigslist Free — it was free! Oh, chess! They play chess in movies and on TV and in space, but Space Chess has three levels. So now I can finally practice and join Chess Club. The cool kids in Chess Club won’t be able to keep me out any longer! But I need a partner. Would you play chess with me? You could be a savant and not even know it! Well, I know I’m not savant in math, so I could be in chess! You be black, and I’ll be white. Cracker, please! The color of the pieces. Oh! The rules are simple in that every piece only moves a certain way and all the ways are different… That’s a rook and that’s a bishop and all those in front are pawns… I prefer the term ‘Artificial Human’ myself. I’m going to make the king and queen brother and sister! This isn’t your savant, either, Helmet Kid. Knight to pawn four. You are no match for my Stonewall Attack, Blind Kid! [SOFT BREATHING} Blind Kid. Ahem…I said “Knight to pawn four”. It’s your move. Are you thinking? Sanavahbitch, you’ve done it again! Blind Kid!!! [SNORT] Not the teeth! Not the teeth, man! Huh, what? We’re done. I won. You lost. Oh. Uh… Good game, man. [SIGH] Good! Good, Fianchetto was an interesting move. Now I have countered with the X-ray Tactical Motif, so it’s your move, Pinhead. Pinhead! No! No! No! No you don’t! Not again! Spit it out! I am not waiting another hour to find it! Helmet Kid! [MEATY THUD TO THE MIDSECTION] [GROAN OF MIDSECTION PAIN] I’m sorry you’re having so much trouble finding a partner, Harelip. I’d try again, if you like. I promise I won’t do voices for them anymore. Y’know, it’s okay. I believe I have thought of the perfect partner. You just wait! Where did you find it? Buried in the Science Lab closet. It was clutching a washcloth that crumbled when I touched it. I don’t know and I don’t want to know, but it’s brilliant because it’s a computer! This is sure to make me the best player Chess Club has ever seen! [IMPRESSIVE ROBOTIC VOICE] Queen to Queen’s level 3. [SIGH OF DEFEAT] A little fine-tuning on your differential screw should do the trick… What the… Oh, iew! Blind Kid! (Blind Kid) Oh, boy!

3 thoughts on “Chess King – Disabled Puppet Theatre

  1. ok, this is actually the First hilarious thing ive seen from Fullscreen, if i was popular id totally promote you haha

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