Capture the Flag | He Will Not Divide Us

Capture the Flag | He Will Not Divide Us


War… has changed. It’s an endless series of proxy battles fought by mercenaries and machines. Nanomachines, inside their bodies, enhance and regulate their abiliti- After defeat on the battlefields of New York and New Mexico, Shia headed to a new, hidden location. No more chanting or interaction; this latest exhibit would just be a flag waving arrogantly in front of a camera. There were no landmarks. No scenery. No clues at all to it’s whereabouts. It would be impossible to find and nothing could stop the broadcast. Check. Mate. And this would allow Shia to act smug for the next 4 to 8 years. That is, unless /pol/’s agents could find away to track it down. Challenge accepted. It was to be the greatest game of capture the flag ever. /pol/ began organizing. They set about gathering all the information they could on the local environment: trying to match up clouds, wind patterns and ambient noise. Because it was a live stream, they could match the time of sunset, to quickly discern that the flag was somewhere in the eastern timezone. That’s two-thirds of the country ruled out in one move. Others began looking into intel about Shia’s whereabouts, as it was highly likely he was present for the raising of the flag itself. As time went on, distinct noises could be heard in the background: the croaking of frogs, suggesting water nearby. Then, the second big break. In the distance, just faintly, two jet streams. /pol/ quickly opened a live feed of all of the air traffic across the eastern seaboard, but identifying these two lines… …amongst all of this… …would be a challenge. Meanwhile, social media trackers found this post. At a small town dinner in Tennessee, this waitress couldn’t help but brag about her run-in with Shia. It was another big break. TMZ also reported that Shia had been seen fly fishing in the area. The search was closing in on Greeneville, Tennessee. The hunt was moving much faster now. According to the aviation team, two more planes would soon be flying overhead; If they could be spotted on the live stream /pol/ would have confirmation. Bingo. To further narrow down the search area, the aviation team stared charting all of the flight paths of spotted planes but they still needed more information; and as day turned to night, they got it. /pol/’s austronomy division used the constellations to narrow down the angle and rough position of the camera. With this, the flight paths, and some advanced trigonometry, the candidate area had been reduced way down. Further confirmation from weather satellites backed up the claim, as an agent was dispatched to the scene. As he drew close, he started honking the horn, while viewers of the live stream gave feedback as it got louder. A few minutes later, target sighted. But he couldn’t just head in during broad daylight and risk Shia’s wrath. Instead, he had to wait for the cloak of night. In the meanwhile, /pol/ got to work devising an infiltration strategy. A few hours later, the flag came down and a M.A.G.A. hat and shirt went up. It was a beautiful moment and it all took place on the live stream. /pol/’s Central Intelligence Agency had clocked HWNDU Season 3 in 38 hours, and 14 minutes; and poor Shia was divided for a third time. Could he ever recover? Could this be the end? Well, as I was editing this video, there has been an update. The stream has gone down and the M.A.G.A. hat and shirt with it. But, intel indicates that the flag will be up again soon. A drone was flown over the area and you can see here that Shia is keeping guard of the flagless pole. In response, Operation Eagle Eye is on standby. The drone carries a sophisticated device. You can see here: a M.A.G.A. hat, Confederate flag, and bucket. To find out what will happen next… …stay tuned for Season IV!

100 thoughts on “Capture the Flag | He Will Not Divide Us

  1. XD, Its funny except undertone of Trump promotion, Shia wasn't randomly targeted bcuz of being celeb or anything it was because he was passionate against Trump. those who aren't don't deserve my respect

  2. ok… lemme get this straight… a dude erected a long stick in the middle of some fucking field that could be anywhere on the bloody continent… and 4Chan still found him in less than two days

  3. Personally, I think both sides are full of nothing more than crying complaining sjws wanting their way. But, this is pure genius and I love this story.
    RedSJW:1
    BlueSJW:0

  4. I still don't understand the situation. What is the He will not divide us thing? Why is Shia promoting this message and why don't people like that?

  5. – Get a honorable cause, like donating food for starving children
    – Give it a trolling twist, like saying that the starving children hate broccoli or something
    – Bait 4chan into it
    – 4chan mobilizes tons of broccoli donations for the sake of trolling
    * The world becomes slightly better out of trolling *

  6. I had no idea how fucking efficient 4chan was. This is almost scary. Like, I don't think the CIA could find that thing faster.

  7. I remember being in the area around that time and later heard that "Some nerds stole Shia's tablecloth-looking thing from a clearing not too far from here" from a local in the area. Now it all makes sense.

  8. We didn’t do this.
    None of us did, I know because I was there.
    This was an operation to test us, and also recruiting us.
    This operation is a prime example of the type of grooming of each and every one of have endured from our own federal government.
    These tools exist, they are weapons, these types of massive ops have ben going on since history began (history: invention of mass media)
    Only this time, the powers that be had an extremely great sense of humor…
    Thank you Mr. Trump, I was very proud to serve my country.
    One day, You will see this message.
    -Unakanon

  9. Holy shit. I knew the events, but 38 hours? Are you fucking kidding? You give a group of autists a stream of literally just the sky, you don't even need the flag, and through audio, video, social, and pure autistic knowledge, they pinpointed the location in 38 hours. Jesus christ. That is simultaneously incredibly funny, and absolutely terrifying. God help whoever they come after. Put these boys on the Osama Bin Laden case, and with all the extra knowledge we already knew, they'd have been in his compound that night.

  10. Does anyone know where season 2 can be found

    Or has it been completely removed and we can no longer see it now

  11. Domestic violator, female participants abducted my daughter 01-April, 2019. Thanks for being an upstanding guy Shia. I don't believe slavery is good to support and terrorists should not abduct children.

  12. During my spring semester at LU this past year, we had these topic reviews for my security policy class; basically we find an article that relates to security and cyber.

    One day as we were presenting the articles, this mad lad goes up before everyone and presents a dramatic summary of the HWNDU flag raid. When I heard this, I couldn’t help but laugh in honor of those who found and raided that flag.

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